


Skephalo Oneshots

by Michael28withabee



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, I Ship It, M/M, Real Names, YouTube, YouTubers - Freeform, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27788242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michael28withabee/pseuds/Michael28withabee
Summary: A compilations of Oneshots I've written between Skeppy and Badboyhalo. I ships the personas they exhibit while in videos and understand not to ship the real people. Also, please don't shove shipping shit down their throats. Just because they don't mind, doesn't mean they want to see it. Respect is veryyyy important. Otherwise, enjoy!I will take requests if you have any
Relationships: BadBoyHalo/Skeppy, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch, skephalo - Relationship
Comments: 26
Kudos: 277





	1. AN

Idk what to put here, lmao... Uhh, ig you can leave requests here? If you want, otherwise, enjoy !


	2. "Don't leave me... Don't you dare leave me!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (?) -Angst, rude language, Panic attack, unrequited love

"I hate you!" Those three words rung in my head like warning bells on repeat. Such simple words on their own were such deadly weapons when combine. The statement came, almost, out of no where.

A simple "Oh my goodness, I love you." Spoken so softly, so kindly, so. . . platonically, regardless of its hidden meaning. How could he hate me after three words. Three. Simple. Words. The words that built him up, only for him to send three words to strike me down.

"Bad, we've talked about this." I could practically heard him pinching his eyes together angrily. Did I mess up that bad? So bad, he couldn't even use my name?

"You can't tell me you love me. I don't love you back and it makes me feel, uncomfortable." I could feel the pounding in my chest quicken, rushing to my ear drums at a sickening pace.

As my hands begun to shake, I took my hands off the mouse and keyboard they were resting on. I tried taking deep breaths, but they sounded shaky. So, so shaky. Like an earthquake was rupturing in my lungs, setting my heart a blaze. It's fire ran through my veins painfully, I could feel the flames licking at my palms, making them sweat and my eyes water.

"I-I know. I'm sor-sorry. I didn't- I didn't mean-" He didn't let me finish, sighing loudly while I picked at the skin on the back of my hand.

"Okay. Whatever. You didn't mean too. Got it. Just- Bad, suck it up for one second, okay?" I took another shaky inhale at his angry demeanor, trying to calm my anxious nerves. I could practically hear the clenching of his fists and the furrowing of his brows.

"Z-Zak, I ca-can't-" I choked on a sob, gasping for a moment, trying to get some air, "- I have to- to go." I went to grab my mouse, his hands slamming on his desk made me jump, stopping all movements and holding my breath.

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare leave me! How dare you say something so disgusting! Only to leave behind you mistake! I'm tired of it Darryl! I can't listen to you say-" I quickly clicked out of team speak. Logging off everything and turning off my computer completely. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my legs and made myself as small as possible in my desk chair. I sobbed into my knees, unable to properly breathe.

Upon seeing black dots fill my vision, I unfurled myself from my right position, sliding off my rolling chair to lay on the ground. While looking at the ceiling, gasping and crying with hot tears steadily streaming down my face, I noticed the walls seemed to be closing in. The rocking and squeezing walls only induced my panic, scratching and squeezing to my throat to breathe.

I scratched, sobbed, scream, shouted, doing everything in my power to unblock the lump in my throat. That heavy sadness resting over my heart and lungs like a tumor, killing my from the inside out.

"Darryl? I'm home!" I faintly heard from outside my room, the heavy French accent hitting me, even though it sounded underwater. I continued to choke and claw a t my throat, unable to make any other noise, let alone talk.

There was a knock at my door before the squeaking of my opening door rung through the room. I didn't register the next few second, Vincent running into the room, crouching beside me, grabbing my face between both of his hands, the worry in his eyes.

"Hey! Hey Darryl! Hey buddy, focus on me! Okay? I need you to focus on my right now. I'm here. I'm real. Breath with me buddy. Come on, in, and out, in, and out. There we go, yes Darryl I'm here, you're okay." He worried, calmly stroking my cheeks with his thumbs while steadying my face in his hands. Before I was thrashing my head side to side unknowingly, now without the movement, I felt less sick.

I took deeper breaths with time, Vincent helping me through the heavy anxiety attack. I'm sure I would have passed out with out him, or seriously injured myself. "Thank you, Vincent. I appreciate you, a lot." I continued taking deep breaths, tears still spilling from my eyes as he rested my head in his lap, his fingers playing with my hair.

"Of course Mon Ami. Je 'tiame." He said softly, kissing my forehead friendly. "What happened?" He asked lightly, as if he didn't need to know but thought he'd ask.

I sighed, playing with the strings of my hoodie anxiously. " I messed up, Vinnie. I told Zak I loved him, again. But this time I meant it in a friend way! And he just, blew it way out of proportion! He called my disgusting, he said he was tired of me, I know he doesn't love me back, but I don't know why he has to- why he has to-" I sobbed, hiccupping and crying into Vincent's chest pitifully.

The pain in my heart hurt worse than anything I'd ever experienced before. I knew this was heart break. But I never thought it would feel like this.


	3. "I try. . . So hard."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (?) - Friendship breakup, breakdown, slight panic attack?, crying, supportive bbh

"I try, so hard. I don't think you understand how difficult it is for me. For me to sit here and listen to you talk shit about yourself when I've done everything for you. When I've given up everything for you. Now, I'm not blaming you, far from it. I know every action was my own doing and I'm not using it against you. I just want you to know, that through all the shit you put me through for your well being, I would go through it again if I could have a do over. Because I know that I helped you, and that's all I wanted. But now you're hurting me. So I have to leave. I hope you have a wonderful life and figure out your problems. Good luck John." Zak smiled, walking away from the man that was once his best friend. Leaving him for good this time.

Holding back tears, Zak walked until he made it to his and Darryl's shared apartment. Continuing to flex his hands to fists, Zak wanted to feel something other than pain. He wanted to feel something other than used, other than empty, he wanted to feel wanted. Not annoying, or as a jokester, he wanted a friend. He wanted someone he could call family without them actually being family. He wanted to belong.

Wiping his eye with the back of his fist, he didn't notice when he made it to his building, he wasn't paying attention when he got on the elevator to his floor, and he was surprised when he heard Darryl's voice greeting him as he walked in.

"Oh, hey Zak! How was your outing with John? Did you-... Hey, are you alright?" He asked, having to pause after looking up from his book to see Zak crying. It wasn't his fault. Zak had been this way ever since he was a kid, constantly being called emotional and a cry baby, but he just got overwhelmed and over stimulated easily.

He closed the door behind him, dropping to his knees with his face in his hands as he cried. He finally let go of the emotions he was trying to hide for so long. Finally unlocking the chains on his heart and brain, he felt free. "Darryl.." He sobbed, looking to the other boy.

Upon Zak falling to his knees, Darryl immediately stood up and walked over to the pile of emotions on the floor. He knew of Zak's emotional behavior, but he'd never seen Zak this broken. "Hey, hey, it's okay. We're okay muffin, aren't we?" Darryl hushed the crying boy, softly placing his hand on the back of Zak's head, and pulling him to his chest cautiously.

At the invitation, Zak immediately hugged Darryl around his neck. Burying his face in the taller man's shoulder, Zak cried. "I'm s-so sorry Darr-Darryl-l. I tri- ied so-o hard. And he-he wa-as so mean." He sobbed brokenly into Darryl. Spilling anything he'd been keeping inside.

Darryl just listened. Running his fingers through Zak's hair soothingly at an attempt to calm the boy. It seemed to be working as Zak began to calm down and relax his breathing over time, and with Darryl's voice softly soothing him. It didn't take long before he was pulling away, wiping his face and sniffing harshly.

"Th-ank you Darryl. I don't know what I'd do without you." They both smiled softly, soaking in each other's presence. Zak sat in Darryl's lap after, hugging the taller boy close to him as Darryl held his boy just as tightly. As it turns out, Zak always did have a place where he belonged. He was so, so, loved.


	4. Quiet Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (?) - Mute bbh, crying skep, fulffy (i think)

They say there is a reason behind everything. Whether it be a persons actions, words, feelings, or just how they handle certain situations. Darryl, also know as BadBoyHalo, didn't feel he had a reason when he slowly started becoming mute. Of course, it was all preference. He never came up with a pin point as to why. 

It was gradual, as most things are. At first he would only speak when he felt noise needed to fill a quiet moment. Then became the quick decent. He started talking only when talked to, then only when asked a specific question, and then... nothing. He was one hundred percent, quiet. No one could get him to talk, other than humming or aggressive nods. His friends quickly accepted it, not wanting to make the, shy, hot head mad. 

Today was like any other, Darryl didn't talk, and Zak sat with him in the living room watching some random movie that was on. They hadn't been sitting there long, moments ago they just finished a couple hour long stream. Even though it hadn't been quiet for that long, Darryl felt awkward. He repeatedly shifted in his spot, flexing his hands and picking at the string on his sweatpants. 

Glancing over, Zak raised a brow at his friends fidgeting. "Hey, you alright?" Darryl nodded. What else could he do, talk? Not after a three year commitment. "If you say so dude. I'm here if you ever want to talk it out. Or write. Whatever makes you comfortable." Zak placed his hand softly on Darryl's shoulder, having to stretch his arm a little due to the distance. 

Shyly looking over at the other boy, Darryl nodded again, patting Zak's hand reassuringly. That seemed to be enough for Zak, but he scooted closer to Darryl ever so slightly. They watched the movie then, having no distractions like before. 

Until Zak's phone pinged on the coffee table less than two feet in front of them. He grabbed his phone, unlocking it and reading whatever message was on the screen. Darryl tried his best to keep his eyes on the television and not let them wander to Zak's phone. It was none of his business who was texting him, but he still felt the pang in his heart at the thought of it being someone Zak found, special. 

Unable to stand it anymore, Darryl decided it would be okay to at least look at Zak's face and see his expression. He really wished he hadn't. Zak's eyes were wide and brimmed with tears. His unoccupied hand was over his agape mouth softly, said hand was shaking and his usually tanned skin was pale. Darryl's adrenaline spiked quickly, his hand coming down softly on Zak's shoulder, just as Zak did a few moments ago. 

He still didn't speak, squeezing Zak's shoulder lightly to try and get his attention off his phone. It didn't work, he was still unmoving, just staring at his phone. Darryl was at a loss as to what to do without his voice. Taking the hand not on Zak's shoulder, Darryl took his opposite hand and placed it on Zak's left cheek, he put slight pressure to pull Zak's face away from his phone. 

Zak finally drew his eyes away from his phone, blinking at Darryl owlishly. His bottom lip trembled as a tear made it's way down his face. "She's hurt, Darry" He cried, dropping the phone and hugging Darryl around his neck. "My sister, she was in an accident." He sobbed into Darryl's shoulder, hugging him tightly. 

Darryl was shocked for a moment, returning the hug shortly after. He sat, crying on Darryl for a while, unable to stop himself with the fear of losing his sister buzzing around his brain. Darryl was thinking quickly, trying to remember what calmed Zak down. Only one thing came to mind. 

His voice. 

Squeezing his eyes tightly, Darryl whispered to Zak," It's okay muffin. She's okay. I love you." His words made Zak freeze, like he was paused, too shocked to react. It was only a second, then Zak was crying harder, hugging Darryl tighter to him. 

"Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you. I love you too. Please, please don't leave me." Darryl ran a hand through Zak's hair, smiling softly at the desperate boy. 

"Never Zak. Love you." He whispered into his hair. Sometimes the small, quiet words, are louder than you could imagine.


	5. Trust me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (?) - None I don't think

It was another long night for Zak. An all night stream consisting of Darryl "beat boxing" And Vincent cussing to try to get him to stop. Of course he'd stop to say language, but simply go right back to the beat.

It was the third time before Vincent had enough, "That's it." He mumbled into the microphone, having his Minecraft character chase Darryl's character around their survival map. He spammed the hit key, trying to kill Darryl at an attempt to shut him up. 

"Hey, hey, hey!! Hands off the merchandise, Vinnie!" Zak shrieked, two shoting the French man.

"I'm done! I'm logging out for the night you two. I don't think I can stands anymore. Bonne nuit." Zak giggled at the frustration Vincent was going through.

"You got it, frenchie. Night." Darryl didn't respond, continuing to shift and un-shift while beat boxing. The soft singing from the group chat was their indication Vincent left.

"Alright everybody, I think I'm going to cut this stream a bit short tonight. I don't know what it is but I am exhausted, night y'all!" He yelled, waving and logging of his stream account. Making sure to turn off his camera, he stretched his arms over his head, groaning loudly.

Darryl yawned a bit far from his mic," Welp, this was fun Skeppy. But I think I'm gonna head off too. We'll talk tomorrow, yeah?" He asked, rubbing his eyes and beginning to log out of his Minecraft account and turn off his cameras.

Zak hummed lowly, "You got it Darry. Love you~" He giggled, leaving a flustered Darryl in the team speak chat. 

(Time skip brought to you by my diminishing patients for fake hoes)

It had been a couple of days since Darryl had posted that video. He was sitting at his computer, working on a server of his. While working, he was trying to think of a video idea. Nothing was coming to mind.

Then he got a chat invite from Zak. He rolled his eyes, thinking he was about to get trolled, but opened the chat anyway. "Hey, what's up?" He greeted, continuing to work on his build.

Zak chuckled," Nothing much. I was just wondering if you wanted to record a game of hunger games with me? I know you haven't posted recently." He pointed out, logging on and choosing a server.

Darryl thought to himself, thinking the pros and cons of playing with Zak. Sighing, he knew he wouldn't be able to say no to the prankster. "Alright, let's do it." He said smiled at Zak's loud cheering.

After getting situated, choosing servers, and whether their would be teams, they were ready to play.

"What's up everybody! I'm here with..!"

"Heyyy." Darryl said awkwardly, shifting and punching the air.

Zak sighed, "You know him, you love him, BadBoyHalo! And today we will be playing hunger games! No cheats!" He yelled excitedly, jumping around the lobby, waiting for the game to begin.

Zak and Darryl bickered back and forth, as they both knew Zak was bound to cheat. Seconds later they were both teleported to the arena, jumping players and chests laid scattered randomly.

"And it's gonna start in three! Two! One! Let's go!" He shouted again, jump sprinting to the center while Darryl ran the opposite way into the woods.

"Bad where'd you go!? We're a secret team buddy." Zak said, smiling behind the camera as he killed and looted player after player.

"Ahhh, sure. What ever you say, you muffin." Darryl joked, looking for chests and keeping an eye on other players around him.

It didn't take long before Zak found Darryl, giving him his worst loot and food. "Awe, you would give me two pieces of wheat, Skeppy." Darryl complained, throwing it out of his inventory and sprinting away.

"Come on, Bad!" Zak laughed, following after the hot head. They continued to run around the map, killing and looting any one they came across.

Until there were just four people, including them, left. They were put into the death match and felt that had a pretty good chance. "Alright, I have a plan, Bad. You go for one guy, and I'll help you when I'm done with this one."

Darryl agreed easily, going after the guy on the furthest left when the count down was done and they were unfrozen. Zak went after the one on the right, noticing their armor was better, but worse weapons.

"Alright, give me a minute tops and I'll be over their!" Zak commented, glancing a t Darryl's character when he didn't get a response.

He stuck to his words, going to help Darryl after only a few seconds. He pulled out a bow and tried to focus on the opposite player. "Bad! I want you to run right at me." Zak spoke, keeping his bow pulled back and ready to fire.

"What? Skeppy, I can see your bow, you're gonna shoot me!" Darryl complained, continuing to Bob and weave to avoid the other player

"Come one bad. Don't you trust me?" Zak smiled, stilling his mouse and watching as Darryl's character faltered for a moment.

Darryl wasn't sure what happened, but he felt as if his entire body was lit on fire. His heart beat seemed to stall and his brain went to mush. "Yeah, okay. I trust you." He spoke softly, running directly at Zak's character.

"3, 2, 1, Left!" Zak shouted, smiling as he shot the player, killing them with one arrow. Darryl cheered, jumping up and down and punching the air. .

"That was so cool, Skeppy! Ah! I could kiss you! We won! I don't even care if you kill me right now!" He cheered, smiling and laughing at the small victory. Throwing a GG in the chat, he made his character look at Zak's. Immediately noticing he wasn't moving.

"Skeppy?" Zak had muted his mic, laughing and blushing loudly at Darryl's words. He immediately killed Darryl with his sword, ending the recording, and un-muting his mic.

"Sorry about that, Darryl. I just- you said something." He laughed lightly, softening his voice and making himself as small as possible in his chair.

"I did? What'd I say?" Darryl asked, turning off his camera and taking a sip of his drink.

Zak ran a hand through his hair, " You, uh. You said you could kiss me?" He said, more of a question than a statement. It was quiet on both boys lines, both trying to process and Gage the others emotions.

Finally, Zak took a deep breath and sighed " I'd kiss you too." He whispered, had their been any other noise Darryl wouldn't have heard him. There was silence yet again. 

Registering what Zak had said, Darryl felt his face ignite in flames. He opened and closed his mouth awkwardly, "You-You would?" He choked out, sitting forward in his chair. 

Zak cleared his throat," I mean, yeah. I- I like you, Darryl." He said shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. Nodding, Darryl didn't know what to say. He was star struck to say the least. 

"I-I like you too, obviously." He giggled, brushing a hand through his hair and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

They continued to talk, planning to meet up in a weeks time so they could talk and hang out in public. Zak wouldn't have to ask again. Of course Darryl trusted him.


	6. "I can't imagine my life without you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (?) - Angst, self-doubt, super short sorry

"Why do you even care?! I'm not that important, Zak! Get that through your thick skull! I am nothing to you! Nothing but-" His voice faltered, his angry aura falling, quickly being replaced with doubt and insecurity. "But a nuisance, I'm horrible, Zak. Just- Leave, you don't need me." He felt his heart beating in his chest, his anxiety flooded his veins with adrenaline.

"Darryl, I can't leave. Not now, not when you're doubting my admiration for you. I've know your since..... Forever. I can't imagine my life without you." Zak smiled, taking Darryl's face between his hands. 

Darryl stared blankly at him, arguing with himself in his head at his next moves. 'I don't believe him. He'll leave me like everyone else. I have to let him go.'

"Don't touch me." Darryl slapped Zak's hands away, looking away from the shorter, hurt boy. "You don't love me. You don't need me. I won't let you! Leave Zak. Go home." Darryl spoke, his face devoid of any emotions, but his heart screamed in protest. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He loved Zak with every fiber of his being, but sometimes, you have to let the person you love go. He felt he had to let him go, let Zak grow. 

Zak held his own hands, staring at the side of Darryl's face with tears in his eyes. "Please, please don't make me leave, Darryl. I-I'm sorry if i did something! Please! I-I love you so much, you-you have to believe me. I-" Darryl put his hand up, stopping Zak's sentence short.

"I can't let you. I'm not going to hold you back, Zak. Leave." Zak wouldn't believe him, not unless Darryl looked him in the eyes.

Zak balled his fists at his sides," No. Not until you say it to my face. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me here. Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth!" Zak shouted, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, letting tears slide down his face.

Darryl whipped his eyes to Zak's. "Fine! You want me to say that i don't love you?! That i never actually liked you?! That i hate you and i don't want you here?! Is that what you want to hear, Zackary?!" Darryl shouted, throwing his hands up and glaring at Zak's fragile expression. Willing himself not to tear up, Darryl dug his finger nails into his palms.

Zak hiccupped, looking at the ground and sobbing into his hands. "O-Okay. I-I-I'll go- and-and you'll never-never see-e m-e again." He cried, making sure to keep eye contact with Darryl. Darryl nodded, walking to his computer desk and opened a random document to make it seem he was busy. 

Nodding to himself, Zak walked out of the apartment to his car. It was time to go home. Back to the cold, empty, lonely place he used to call home. His home was now a tall boy with shaggy brown hair, glasses, and lovely blue eyes. But not even he wanted him. 

Darryl lied his head on the desk as soon as the front door closed, letting a few tears escape. He was stupid. So, so stupid. The one person he loved more than anything, who loved him back, was gone forever. 

Darryl opened group message with Zak and Vincent, sending an "I'm sorry." Before leaving the chat entirely. Maybe Zak could flourish now, without with added stress of Darryl's anger problems. And maybe Darryl could focus on his platform, now that Zak wouldn't be trolling him all the time. 

But they both knew the truth. They couldn't function well without each other. But it was too late. What they had was broken. Never to be fixed. And all because of self doubt and worries.


	7. "Are you awake?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (?) - None again, just super fluffy with extreme exhaustion

It was an average night, Zak and Darryl were up late again that night, live streaming while jumping around a random Minecraft server. They bantered, yawning and giggling drowsily every few seconds. It was going as per usual, Darryl started beat-boxing at two twenty in the morning, Zak trolling him and making fun of his drunken behavior, until a loud bang was heard from Darryl's end of the mic. Laughing, Zak looked to his stream, saying good-bye, and quickly ending it. Cutting off his cameras and logging out of his server, he sprinted at Darryl's room down the hall. 

A month or so ago, Zak had taken Darryl up on the offer to move in with him. He'd gotten tired of his parents relentless nagging for him to move out. Darryl was ecstatic, cleaning the house and fixing up the guest room as soon as he got off the phone with Zak. Zak didn't take long to pack, only grabbing essentials. His favorite clothes, recording equipment, money stash, and anything else he found valuable. 

Zak's sock clad feet slipped down the hallway at the speed he moved, having to grab Darryl's door frame to fully stop his feet from being swept out from under him. He rapped his knuckles on Darryl's door quickly. "Bad? Hey, Hey, Darryl?! Are you alright?!" Zak spoke quickly, his hands shook, their grip on his door frame tightening. 

Upon getting no response, Zak ran a hand through his hair, exhaling harshly. "Hey, I'm gonna come in, okay?" He asked on last time, pressing his ear flush to the door. The only thing he heard was the dinging of Darryl's live stream and soft, almost unnoticeable, breathing sounds. 

Slowly turning the door nob, Zak had to squint with how dark Darryl's room was compared to his computer's brightness. Pushing open the door further, he stepped into the room. "Darryl?" He asked softly, walking deeper into the room. After a few more moments his eyes finally adjusted to the room, his sight immediately landing on Darryl, laying on his side on the floor. 

Moving quickly, Zak skid beside Darryl's body, his knees hitting the ground harshly. He grabbed the unconscious boys head, laying it in his lap and brushing his fingers through Darryl's hair. "Hey, hey Darryl. Wake up for me buddy." He spoke, lightly patting the sleeping boys cheek.

While trying to wake him up, Zak checked for any immediate injuries. Only seeing a small bump growing on his forehead, he exhaled soundly. A groan from Darryl drew Zak's attention away from his own morbid thoughts.

Cracking open his eyes, Darryl immediately began to breath harshly. His eyes darted around the room unseeing, and his hands began to flail. Zak grabbed the side of Darryl's face between his hands, making the boy look at him, trying to get him to focus. "Hey! Hey Darryl, its okay. It's just me." 

At the sound of Zak's voice, Darryl's eyes immediately focused. His hands grabbed Zak's forearms desperately, "Skep- Zak." Darryl sighed softly, sinking into his touch. The corners of Zak's lips tugged into a small smile at how cute Darryl sounded, usually the boy had an aggravated or loud tone in their recording. Outside of the videos, Darryl was such a soft and fragile speaker, it surprised Zak at first. 

"Wha- What happened? Where am i?" Darryl asked, taking one of his hands from Zak's arm and touching his forehead. 

Zak smiled softly, brushing his hand through Darryl's hair, "You passed out, i think you hit your head on the desk." Darryl giggled, his eyes meeting Zak's again. 

"Bed?" The tired boy asked, taking Zak's hand when he nodded at the request. 

Looking back to his computer, Darryl's eyes widen at seeing his stream still recording. Darryl looked at Zak nervously, his hands began to shake again. "Is it okay if they know i live with you?" Zak asked, taking one of the boys shaking hands in his. Darryl nodded sleepily, moving toward his bed. 

"Heeelllloo stream! Don't worry, Bad is alright, he's just so exhausted he passed out. Yes! I know, I've been trying to keep him on a decent sleep schedule! We do live together now, yes. Alright everybody, I'm gonna end it here! Stay safe! And subscribe or dye a horrible death!" Zak grinned, giggling and yelling into the mic. Ending the stream, Zak made sure to save any files Darryl'd need to edit or upload later, powering down the computer, and making a note as to what tabs he'd had opened previously. 

"Zak?" He heard behind him, the voice rough with such a soft tone it was almost inaudible. Looking over his shoulder, Zak had to hold in a squeal at Darryl, wrapped in a blanket pulled to his chin, his glasses laying on his bedside table, and his hair a mess on his pillow. Smiling, Zak finished up with Darryl's computer before completely turning around. 

He crossed his arms over his chest, hip cocked out to the side and one eye brow raised. "Hi Darryl, you gonna sleep now?" Darryl nodded, wiggling under the covers to free his arms. Upon doing so, the tired boy reached his hands out to Zak, clenching and unclenching his fists for Zak.

Rolling his eyes, Zak pushed off the desk he was leaning on, and made his way toward Darryl's bed. He stood at the edge of Darryl's bed, taking on of the tired boys out stretched hands softly in his own. "Darryl, you've gotta sleep buddy." He spoke, brushing his free hand through the others hair again. 

Darryl hummed contently, "Wan' you 'ere" He slurred, tugging weakly on Zak's hand. Nodding, Zak second guessed himself for a second, but shook off his nerves and crawled under the duvet. Smiling sleepily, Darryl pressed himself close to Zak. Nuzzling his head under the shorter boys chin. "Thank you, Zak." Darryl whispered. 

Running his hands through Darryl's hair and up his back, Zak lied with him, unable to sleep, but content with thinking. There wasn't silence for long, Zak's video idea's suddenly being interrupted by Darryl's voice. 

"Are you awake?" He whispered, fisting Zak's shirt in his hands nervously. 

Zak rolled his eyes, grabbing a small decorative pillow above his head, and hit Darryl in the head with it. "Shut up and sleep, you muffin." He told him sternly, smiling into the drowsy boy's hair. 

Giggling, Darryl nodded his head. "Love you." He mumbled, immediately drifting into a peaceful sleep. Leaving Zak flustered, blushing a bright pink, but sporting a wide smile.


	8. The way I feel when I'm with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (?) - Slight hate/rude comments, sadboyhalo, but Cute Geppy. Also veeeeeeeerrrryyyyy rushed

Being a 'normal' day for Bad, wasn't... well, normal! He woke up in the morning with no problem. Not even waking up late. When he walked his dogs in the early afternoon, the creepy guy usually standing at the corner was exceptionally nice. He apologized for his pasts words and explained his troubles at home and his recent drug addiction having to do with his past. Bad could only accept his apology and thank him in return. On his return home, he was able to walk with his elderly neighbor, Ethel, and she proudly told him about her grand-kids and how fast they were growing. The way she talked about them brought a pain to his heart, making sure to remind himself later to check up on her more. When he got home it was just at the perfect time his show came on he'd forgotten to record the night before. Smiling, he wondered where all of this luck was coming from. 

After his show had ended, Bad decided to stream. After all, maybe all of this good luck would make people nicer to him in the stream! Of course, he loved all of his fans to pieces, but there were a few who aggravated him to tears more times than he'd ever admit. 

Opening YouTube, he made sure all of his equipment and his needed supply's were in order. Double checking on his dogs before starting his stream. Half an hour in, everything seemed to be going as he'd hoped. Everyone was being nice, following the rules, and making sure not to meme too many times. Not an overwhelming amount.

But then the first hour hit. 

Bad instantly noticed the rapid increase of watchers, he knew this wasn't a good sign, but tried stay optimistic. 'Today's been really good! Maybe they'll be nice.' He thought, silently wishing this wasn't going to end badly. 

It only took a few minutes. The messages starting flowing in. The meme's, demands, insults, rude comments. Each one taking a toll on Bad's self-esteem and drained his energy. He could feel his eyes water and his throat tighten at a particular one.

"'Donation from BaldBabyHater- $5- Hey baldboynood, i hate having to give you money but it's the only way to get you to actually guarantee see it. I'm surprised not many people are telling you how bad you are. You'll never be as good as Skeppy. You're not cool or funny, you're annoying. I hope you die, because you suck that much. I feel bad for Skeppy, having to constantly deal with you-"

The read comment made Bad suck in a breath of air. The comment going straight to his head, making him feel worse than he had in a while. Putting his hands over his mouth, he tried to stifle his cries. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his throat and tried to talk normally. 

"Alright Muffins! I've got to go w-walk rat now! I hOpe you all h-have a good day! I lo-ve you all. Goodbye!!" He said, his voice cracking slightly as his character punched toward the screen. Clicking a few buttons, he ended his stream and turned off his computer. 

At the lack of light, Bad brought his hands to cover his face. Crying into them and wondering what he did to deserve this. Feeling worthless, unwanted, useless, he was surprised to hear his phone chime. The noise indicating someone had texted him. As the screen lit up, the word ~Zak~ was at the top of the message bubble. 

(~Zak~ 11: 45 pm- Call me)

There was nothing else. Confused out of his mind, Bad called him. "H-Hello?" Bad hiccupped into the speaker, wiping tears from his cheeks, and looking at the ceiling in hopes of stopping to not embarrass himself. 

"Hey Darryl, get dressed. I'm coming to get you." Skeppy spoke into his phone, a smile on his face and a softness in his voice. 

Looking at the clock, Bad couldn't help but be confused again. "Z-Zak? It's eleven a-at night?" He asked, grabbing a jacket anyway. 

There was a loud laugh from Zak's end, the sound immediately brought a smile to Darryl's face. "Yeah! I'm aware bad. I'll be there in ten! Bye!" He shouted, cutting off anything Darryl wanted to say. 

~~~~ 

Darryl got dressed after Skeppy hung up, pulling on track pants instead of his shorts, a baggy sweatshirt over his tank-top instead of the jacket, and slipping on a pair of no-laced toms. After he was sure he was fully dressed, Bad waited by his front door. Anxiously opening is phones lock screen only to turn it off again. He continued to repeat the process, a few stray tears still glistening on his cheeks, his eyes still puffy and rimmed red, his nose had an adorable red tint to it's end, as he sniffled: slowly but surely calming down. 

A knock at his door startled him from his zoned out staring. "Bad! Come on!" he heard through the door, the voice immediately made him untense and a shy smile slipped onto his face. Stepping toward his door, his hand instinctively clutched his phone in his hand as his other opened the door. 

"Hey! Lets go!" Was all Zak shouted before bounding down the stairs, and toward the parking lot. Darryl could only roll his eyes with a fond smile as he closed and locked his front door. After he'd walked down the same pair of stairs and toward Zak's car, Darryl slid into passenger seat, a confused expression immediately clouding his face. 

"Zak, what are you doing here?" Zak, once again, didn't answer. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, making his knuckles turn white and his veins protrude with the force. He was shaking slightly, whether from anxiety or excitement, Bad wasn't sure. 

He took a deep breath, holding it for a second, then releasing it shakily. "I-I haven't had, a very good day. A-and, i heard your stream. So, i... figured, you could use some company as much as i did?" He asked more than stated. His head was turned away from Darryl, his fingers tapping nervously. 

A smile tugged at Bad's lips, one of his hands reaching out and lightly touching Zak's tense arm. "Course I'll hang out with you, Zak. Thank-you." He spoke softly, his eyes glancing from Zak's eyes to his lips and back up again. 

Zak seemed to relax at Darryl's touch and words, looking toward the older boy with a greater confidence. "Great! Let's go then!" 

Darryl rolled his eyes again, this time not asking questions, and throwing on his seat belt. The radio softly playing in the background. 

"Oh my god, I can's remember

Who i was just last December

What have i done, how did i get here?

What have i done?"

They had been driving for an hour or so now, but Zak finally stopped, shaking Darryl from his mindless gaze. "We're here?" He asked, reaching for his unbuckle button, but only pushing it when Zak nodded, obviously nervous. 

As they both got out of the car, Zak led the way, his hands shoved into his pockets as Darryl's swung slowly at his sides. His hopeful nature was too great for him to do anything else with them. 

Walking over a boardwalk, Darryl was left speechless by the sight in-front of him. The sun had just begun to set over the ocean. Turning the sky into a mess of purples, pinks, and oranges. There were lazy clouds slowly passing by, seagulls flying over head, and a totally empty beach. The crashing of the waves and the salty air brought a sting to Darryl's eyes, but a bright smile to his lips. 

Taking Darryl's hand firmly in his, Skeppy drug him across the soft white sand, toward a particular spot. The place wasn't far, a few meters maybe. But when they got there, Darryl's hand flew to his mouth, his other still firmly grasping Zak's. 

"Z-Zak? How did you, find this?" He asked incredulously, walking forward into the cave, slowly and softly letting go of Zak's hand as he walked further in. 

Rubbing his arm awkwardly, Zak shrugged with a shy smile. "I-I... walk a lot, when I'm sad. Or really lonely. And I found this place one day. I was, saving it for someone special." He smiled at the ground, looking up when he was done speaking. 

At looking up, Zak froze. Darryl had taken his sweatshirt off, his head tilted back, eyes closed, as he let the water drops on the roof of the cave drip down onto his face. There was a small, peaceful smile on his lips, the water at the center of the cave reflecting the blue light onto the side of Darryl's face, accentuating his facial features. "S-Special?" He asked confused, yet again. 

Zak immediately stiffened up," O-Of course? Y-You're really important to me, Darryl." With no emotion, Darryl walked over to Zak. His shoulders squared and his mouth in a flat line. 

Getting really close to the other boy's space, Darryl leaned down, his lips so close to Zak's he could feel the others stiff breaths. "You're important to me too. Zak." He breathed, leaning in softly and pressing his lips to Zak's.

Darryl's hands cradled Zak's jaw between them, Zak's gripped Darryl's upper arms firmly. Letting himself be lead by the taller man. Darryl turned his head to the right, deepening the innocent kiss further. As they pulled away for air, Zak didn't let go of Darryl, not did Darryl move far. Instead he slid his hands from Zak's jaw bone down to rest on his neck.

"Thank you, Zak." Darryl whispered, resting his forehead on Zak's, a smile once again on his face. 

With his eyes closed, Zak was confused. "For what?"

"Being with me. You're my world, my stars, the air i breathe. Thank you. I love this..." He trailed off, pulling a little further from Zak's face to admire the boys features. 

"This?" He asked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity and love. 

"The feeling I get when I'm with you."


	9. "Shotgun?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (?) - Bad-Boy Bad, Soft-Boy Skeppy, kiinnddaa citron vert, Also, the word 'clope' is French slang for cigarette

Another day, another night working the graveyard shift at CVS. Signing to himself, Zak's eyes lazily drifted around the store, glancing at the products they sold and random signs he'd read hundred of times. Until his eyes, inevitably, fell onto his coworker restocking a shelf. His eyes drifted down the tall boy's body, past the uniform vest covering his red polo shirt, down to his fitted tan slacks, and all the way down to his black sneakers, then back up again. The boy wasn't ugly, far from it actually. 

As Zak... studied him, he noticed the faint freckles on the bridge of his nose, his glasses sliding down them periodically. His brownish hair fell into his face as he bobbed his head to whatever music was playing through his headphones. His eyes, a hazel-green colour, always seemed to draw Zak in when ever he looked into them. Blinking, Zak quickly looked away when he notice his coworker was looking directly at him, a flat expression on his face, only one of his eyebrows quirked. 

Shaking his head and squeezing his eyes closed to compose himself, Zak's face was flaming hot and a bright pink. Embarrassed, he busied himself on his phone, brainlessly scrolling through Instagram. 

Someone clearing their throat in-front of him, catching Zak attention immediately. His coworker was there, standing in-front of him. The sight of him alone made Zak's mouth go dry and his eyes go big. "I'm going for a smoke break." He spoke simply, not moving from his space as he began to pull out a clope. Nodding, Zak's eyes quickly flicked to the man's name tag.

Darryl.

His name was Darryl.

Smiling, Zak immediately looked back up at the man, Darryl. "A-alright, I'm- I'll be here." He spoke softly, looking down halfway through speaking as Darryl's eyes were dead set, no emotion showing through, not even a smile. But as soon as Zak looked down, Darryl smirked, rolling his eyes. 

Nodding, Darryl made his way to the back of the store, a clope easily set between his lips, "I'll be back here if you need me, or want to join me." He added with a wink and smile. The action made Zak blush again, looking back down, this time with a small smile. 

At the sound of the door closing, Zak let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding in. Clutching his chest dramatically, his heart beating so hard he swore he was having a heart attack.

He took a few moments to calm himself down, looking around the empty store with a curious expression. 'Maybe i could-' He thought, fiddling with the hem of his shirt as he debated Darryl's offer of joining him. Zak had never smoked before, nor did he ever have an interest in it before, but the though of impressing Darryl or even making him think he was more than an innocent boy made Zak excited. 

Taking a deep breath, he shook his hands out, shoving his phone in his back pocket, and putting the closed sign on the store front doors. 'It's 2 in the morning, the depressed teens and crack heads can wait for a little.' Zak though with a smile. 

Making his way to the back exit, Zak fiddled with his own fingers, dragging his busted converse against the rough carpet as he walked. Nerves spiked up his spine, the sudden adrenaline rush made his heart stutter. "I can do this, be cool." He muttered to himself, his hands resting lightly on the doors handle. Taking a quick deep breath, he pushed it open.

Immediately, Zak's arms crossed over his chest at the cold. His nose scrunched at the smell of the ally way, garbage bins left open, oil puddles, and clope butts were strewn about the tight, dimly lit area. 

As Zak let the door close behind himself, he noticed Darryl propped up against the wall behind said door. One foot on the wall behind himself, an arm crossed over his chest, as the other raised the clope to is lips. He took a deep breath of the nicotine smoke, holding it in his throat, just long enough for it to burn, before slowly letting the smoke trickle from his lips. 

After all the smoke was gone from his lungs, Darryl blew the remaining smoke harshly, his eyes lazily gliding to Zak's shivering figure. A smirk slid onto his lips, "Come to join me, ducky?" He asked sarcastically, teasing the smaller boy. 

Looking down at himself, Zak blushed at the duck pin he'd put on his shirt that morning. "I-Um. Yes, actually. If you wouldn't mind?" He asked, taking a few steps forward so the spacing wasn't so awkward. 

Scoffing, Darryl pushed himself away from the wall and moved even closer to Zak. So close, they could now feel each others body heat. "Yeah? Come to have a drag, pretty boy?" Darryl asked again, raising his arm slowly to take another drag from the clope. His eyes didn't move from Zak's, the younger of the two too focused on Darryl's lips, wrapped around the end of the stick. 

"Nice to know you think I'm pretty then." Zak whispered, dragging his eyes back up to Darryl's. Nodding, Darryl tilted his face up to blow the smoke into the air instead of Zak's face. 

As he looked back down, he noticed Zak's curious gaze at the nicotine stick between his middle and index finger. "Ever smoked before?" He asked, holding it closer to his own face again. Zak shook his head no, "Want to?" He asked, wrapping his lips around the stick again, his eyebrows raised. 

At the question, Zak's eyes shot up. The eye contact between the two was electric, the air stiff. "Can-Can I?" He answered back, his eyes glazing over at the sight of Darryl letting the smoke slowly fall from between his lips. 

Darryl smiled, his hand raising, this time to Zak's face. "Course, you just put it between you lips, yeah like that, then just breath in. Not to much-" Before he could finish, Zak was coughing aggressively. His hands braced on his knees and his eyes watery. 

The sudden action made Darryl laugh, throwing his head back, and gripping his stomach at the force of his laugh. 

It took a few moments for both boys to calm down, Zak's face a bright red, and Darryl dramatically wiping non-existent tears from under his eyes. "That- Was wonderful." Darryl commented, taking a needed drag of the clope. 

Shuffling his feet, Zak shivered violently. "S-Sorry." He stuttered, looking to the side out of embarrassment. Shaking his head, Darryl blew the smoke from his lungs in thought. Tapping the clope between his fingers to rid the extra ash, he came up with an idea. 

"...Shot gun?" He asked curiously, this time, Zak raised an eyebrow. 

His hands clutched the bottom of his shirt again, a nervous habit of his. "What's 'shot gun'?" He asked, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. 

Darryl didn't answer, walking toward Zak. At the closing proximity, Zak backed up until he was met with a wall. Stunned, Zak stared at Darryl chest to avoid his eyes. Bringing the clope between his lips again, Darryl cupped Zak's chin with his free hand. Raising the shorter boys face to be closer to his. "Open your mouth a little." His whispered softly, making sure not to let much smoke escape. 

Zak slowly opened his mouth, blushing even brighter red as Darryl moved his mouth closer to his. Letting the smoke move from his to Zak's mouth, Darryl closed his eyes, hoping Zak got the memo. 

He did, carefully breathing in the smoke Darryl gave him. After Darryl moved away, Zak let the smoke move from his own lungs into the open air. "Was that better?" Darryl asked softly, tucking a piece of hair behind Zak's ear thoughtlessly. 

Nodding, Zak shivered again, looking deep into Darryl's hazel-green eyes. "Much." He spoke with a smile, leaning toward Darryl impulsively. 

Smiling back, Darryl moved toward Zak too, their lips millimeters apart. "I'm glad you joined me tonight." He muttered, the words making Zak shutter and nod.

Unable to hold back any longer, Zak grabbed the collar or Darryl's shirt, pulling him closer and pressing his lips to the taller boys. Their lips slotted together nicely, Darryl's dryer than Zak's, but more experienced. 

Dropping the clope, Darryl's hands immediately went to Zak's hips, sliding down to grip the backs of his thighs. Hoisting him up, Darryl pressed Zak into the wall behind them, careful of the boys head. 

"Ah.." Zak gasped at the sudden move, wrapping his arms around Darryl's neck, and opening his mouth further, welcoming Darryl's movements. There was a small smirk forming on Darryl's face as his moved away, pressing a few more stray kisses on Zak's face before pressing his forehead to the shorter boys'. 

"We should shot gun more often." He chuckled, rubbing his nose against Zak's lovingly. 

Giggling, Zak nodded, "I'd like that."


	10. Love like you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (?) - Inspired by the Steven Universe song "Love like you"

It had been an odd few weeks for Zak. He was beginning to notice Darryl's... odd behavior. Now, the man had always been odd, making weird jokes, being completely clueless, normal Darryl things. But, He'd never actively avoided Zak, at least, not like this. Darryl had been disappearing to his room more often, using the same lame excuse of needing to record videos. 

Waking up early that morning, Zak sat at the kitchen counter, a glass of water clutched between his sweaty hands. He couldn't sleep, to busy thinking about what he did wrong and how he could make it up to Darryl. The man had been avoid him like the black plague, moving rooms when he'd walk in, changing channels on team speak, he wont even say his name anymore. Tearing up, Zak rubbed his eye with the heal of his palm, sniffing pitifully. 

"I'm fine. I don't need him." He muttered, his voice wavering. Aggravated, he stood from his spot in the kitchen and began to walk to his own room: right across the hall was Darryl's door. 

Just as he was about to open his door, he heard what sounded to be faint piano chords. Curious, Zak walked toward Darryl's door, carefully resting his ear against the wood. The sound of the piano was unmistakable now, 'I didn't know he played piano?' 

Then he heard his voice. For the first time in a month, Zak was hearing Darryl's voice in person, the sound made him melt. Pressing his back to the door, he slid down the hard wood until he was sat on the floor. His head tilted back against it, having to strain his ears slightly to hear was was being played. 

'If I could begin to be  
Half of what you think of me  
I could do about anything  
I could even learn how to love'

He was... singing? And it was a song Zak new. 

'When I see the way you act  
Wondering when I'm coming back  
I could do about anything  
I could even learn how to love like you'

Smiling to himself, Zak thought about his antics. Their banter, jokes, his laugh. These thoughts alone made Zak begin to tear up again. Resting his head in his crossed arms over his knees instead. 

'I always thought I might be bad  
Now I'm sure that it's true  
'Cause I think you're so good  
And I'm nothing like you'

Startled, Zak didn't remember this part of the song. Did Darryl think this about himself? Zak noticed Darryl's voice become thick with emotion, pouring his heart into his words. 

'Look at you go  
I just adore you  
I wish that I knew  
What makes you think I'm so special?'

Shaking, Zak had to put a hand over his mouth to stifle his sobs. He couldn't believe he let Darryl think little of himself. 

'If I could begin to do  
Something that does...'

Suddenly he stopped playing, Zak heard the shuffling of Darryl moving around his room. Zak didn't move, frozen in place against Darryl's door. The door flung open, the quick action made Zak fall backward. 

Darryl could only look down in shock at the boy laying on his back on his bedroom floor. Said boy was flushed pink, tear tracks clear down his face, red rimmed eyes, and shaking hands. Neither could speak, Darryl only staring in shock as Zak sniffled. 

"I'm sorry." Was all Zak could say before Darryl was on the floor next to him, holding the boy in his arms. 

"It wasn't your fault, it's fine you're fine, I'm sorry. You're just- And I'm a- I-" Darryl stuttered, tears springing to eyes in realization at his actions. 

"You're amazing Darryl. I couldn't-" Zak shook his head, kissing the boys cheek before wrapping his arms around his neck. 

They sat together on Darryl's cold hard wood floor, more comfortable than they had been in a while.


	11. Sunshine Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings (?) - Homophobia, pedophile is mentioned, very nasty customer (Karen)

"Road shimmer  
Wiggling the vision  
Heat heat waves  
I'm swimming in a

Sometimes, all I think about is you  
Late nights in the middle of June  
Heat waves been faking me out  
Can't make you happier now"

The music softly playing from the radio on his drive home seemed to do nothing for Darryl, his nerves shot from the stressful day he had at his part time job as a librarian. People can be cruel this day in age. That fact came as no surprise to Darryl having been bullied for the better part of his life, but it was something he thought he'd be able to escape in growing up.

But Darryl never did have very good luck.

'It felt like a normal day, waking up at eight-thirty to eat breakfast, getting dressed in five minutes, and starting the car to drive ten minutes to work, it all felt familiar and typical. Until he stepped into the small-book filled building. It felt like someone was screaming in his head the moment his feet walked through the door, like something was warning him to just go home. But despite his gut feeling, he prevailed, organizing books and noting some he'd like to read in the future as he always did.

Then, they came through the door.

It was a small family, a wife, husband, and their three kids. The youngest of the three seemed no older than ten or so and looked scared, but excited to buy a book of her choosing. The second looked around thirteen or fourteen he, on the other hand, didn't at all seem like he wanted to be here. He was probably a gamer of some sort, judging by the way he was eyeing the discount movies and games section of the library. The last kid could have easily been the scariest looking teen Darryl had ever seen. He looked seventeen or so and stood an easy six foot three, possibly taller. Upon walking into the building, he was intimidating to say the least, pale skin, dark glaring eyes, feathery brown hair, and dark clothing. Immediately after stepping inside, letting the door close behind him, his eyes seemed to. . . light up? He pulled one of the headphones from his ears, his eyes dancing around the room as he looked at all the books on the shelves and posters littered about the walls.

Realizing his staring, Darryl quickly looked away, back to his task at hand. Even while putting books on their respective shelves, Darryl was close enough to the family to hear what they were talking about.

"I'm gonna take Alice over there to look at books, Blake go with your father, John I don't care what you do. You can all pick out two books each, alright?" Darryl cringed at the woman's demanding voice, trying not to listen to her any further.

Then there was a scoff, "You got it, May. Blake I'll be over there if you need me. The new spider-man game is that way." Darryl glanced back, noting how the oldest kid, John he thinks, put his headphones back in his ears and was the first to walk away.

With a shake of his head, Darryl pushed his cart to another part of the store, needing to shelve them more toward the back with the textbooks no one but he ever really read. While shelving 'Electricity and Magnetism by Edward Purcell' Darryl couldn't help rolling his eyes as he heard the woman, May if he remembers correctly, yelling at the youngest child. About what? He wasn't sure.

Continuing his pushing, he paused suddenly when he saw John in the middle of the Scientific's isle, dancing to the music playing in his headphones. He was swaying his hips to the beat, bounding his head from side-to-side, and occasionally pumping his arms in front of himself in random positions. From his humming, it sounded like he was listening to Lady Gaga or something similar.

Giggling to himself, Darryl could feel his cheeks warm, second-hand embarrassment sure did suck for everyone. The noise startled the dancing boy. John quickly turned to Darryl, his cheeks glowing red made his freckles stand out.

He coughed into a closed fist nervously, taking out one of his ear buds, "Sorry about that." He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck before continuing, "I- um, you work here, right?"

Tilting his head to the side, Darryl glanced from the cart of books he was wheeling around, down to his uniform, then back to John. "Nah, you muffin." He laughed.

Glancing away, John nodded to himself. "Dumb question, right."

Darryl shook his head, dismissing the claim. "Hey, no. That wasn't dumb. Um, yes I work here. Do you need help finding a specific book? A section? A recommendation? I'm your guy."

John looked back at Darryl, a lop-sided smile on his lips. "I- Yes. I need help, but you have to promise not to- like, make fun of me, or something." He spoke shyly, playing with the chords of his headphones.

"Course I won't! Books are wonderful and no matter what kind you're into, I'm sure I'll think they're amazing." Darryl smiled, motioning for John to simply tell him the book he wanted.

Sighing shakily, he nodded again, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "Well, I was wondering if you guys had any books on. . . Nanotechnology? Or Astrophysics? Oh! How about Nuclear or Thermal Emulsifiers? Shit, even a book or two on Mathematical physics would be great. I've been on protons and neutron fusions with electron impact for so long I need to learn more about astronomical properties involving the use and adherence of atoms." John rambled, his eyes never meeting Darryl's as he talked. He seemed nervous to talk about the things he was interested in, which felt like a shame to Darryl as he'd never met anyone so excited about. . . learning, and math.

"Language, um. . . Honestly, I have no idea what a lot of that is, but I can show you where the Astronomy and physics books are? And, do you think you could talk more about that stuff? It sounds. . . really cool." Darryl smiled nervously, John's face went blank, his jaw slack at Darryl's proposition.

"You. . . Want to hear about my nerd stuff?" He asked, cocking his head to the side like he was being set up. Darryl nodded, motioning for him to follow him toward the 'nerd' section, as John had dubbed it.

As they walked toward the section Darryl had just finished up, he listened to John ramble about neutrons and protons and apparitions, how they worked, theories he had about their physical properties, and how they reacted differently in outer-space compared to on Earth. Darryl pulled up a stray stool, sitting on it and listening to John talk while he looked through the different books. Occasionally John would stop talking, reading something from a book he'd have in his hand and then restating it to Darryl excitedly.

Darryl wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there with John, enjoying each other's presence, but suddenly John stopped talking. Looking over to Darryl confused. "I'm sorry, I'm just now realizing, I never got your name?"

Darryl smiled, watching John pull up another stool beside him and set the two books in his hands on his lap carefully, treating them as if they were made of porcelain. "I'm Darryl, wonderful to meet you John." He held his hand out for John to shake, noticing the rings littering his fingers and rubber bands around his wrists. His hand was cold, bigger than Darryl's, and paler.

"Wonderful to meet you, Darryl." John smiled, quickly pulling out a red notebook and red pen. His tongue poked through his teeth as he wrote, his handwriting quick, sharp, and barely legible. "That's spelled D-A-R-R-E-L-L, right?" He asked suddenly, putting the end of his pen in his mouth. 

"Nope. D-A-R-R-Y-L." Darryl corrected him with a soft, curious, smile. "What are you writing there?"

A slight blush dusted John's face at the innocent question, "I- Uh. . . Well, Darryl, I love writing. But sometimes I have nothing to write about or I have trouble finding something interesting to write about. So, sometimes, I'll find someone I find interesting and write about them, or make notes about them to add them to a story or something. Sorry if that's weird, I also just don't want to forget you." John smiled, nodding to himself, then he went back to writing.

Darryl wasn't too sure what to do with the information, processing the fact John found him interesting. Found him worth remembering. A shy smile fell on Darryl's lips as he busied himself with a fandom book cover to read.

It was a few minutes later that John finally finished writing, the silence during his scribbling was one of the most comfortable moments in Darryl's life, the calm before the storm, he couldn't help but think. "Done." John smiled, closing the book and checking the time on his phone.

"Could you- I mean, if you're okay with it, could you read it to me?" Darryl asked, shifting his eyes away from John's.

John looked from what he wrote to Darryl and back again, "I've never read anyone anything from my notebook. . . But, I guess I could make an exception." He shrugged, shifting on the stool to get a little closer to Darryl.

"He looks like he plays an instrument when times get too tough and drinks hot cocoa instead of coffee because it's just too strong, the kind of guy who unties his shoes when he takes them off and kissed his mom's cheek every morning when she'd send him off to school. The kind of guy who would dream about girls and boys, of easy simple things like swimming in a pool. But he also seems so complex, like words bubbling behind clenched teeth, clamped on his tongue to keep his thought to himself. These are things I can only assume, things I'll never know but will forever be curious about. Maybe one day I'll get the answers to a few, but I'll never understand as deeply as I yearn to. . . His name is Darryl, this is certain, and him forever on my mind will never be a burden." Darryl couldn't help the smile taking over his face, he couldn't help the warmness in his heart at this kid's words. This kid that just met him, that thought so highly of him, Darryl was sure he'd never forget him either.

"Thank-you." He whispered, giggling at John flushed cheeks and shaking hands. "Well, Mr. Poet, lets go get these books bought for you." John nodded, unable to speak, and stood from his stool, following Darryl to the check out. 

They talked on the way to check out, mentioning their respective YouTube channels and the content they created. Before they knew it, Darryl was behind the counter scanning John's books, and waiting for the rest of his family. "That's insane! I can't believe I've been talking to a popular YouTuber this entire time." John laughed, throwing his hands in the air excitedly. 

Darryl could only shrug, "Please, I'm not the one you should be excited about. If anything, you should meet my roommate, and best-friend, Zak. He has almost four million subscribers, goes by the name Skeppy." Darryl mentioned off-handedly, picking at the grooves in the counter. 

"No way, that's crazy! I've watched a few of his videos. . . " John smiled, leaning on the counter.

Darryl cocked his head to the side. "Yeah? I'll tell him about you then. I'm sure he'll enjoy hearing about it." 

John nodded again, going to say something but was cut off by a high-pitched matter-of-fact voice behind him. At the sound, his eyes went dead. His body stiffening and his smile falling immediately. John stepped away from the counter, looking at the ground awkwardly, and put his other ear-bud in immediately. 'Sorry.' He mouthed to Darryl, turning up the music quickly. 

Darryl, at first, didn't understand John's behavior, until she stepped to the counter. "Put your books up there, now." She hissed at the young girl, Darryl couldn't help but notice she flinched and quickly put the books on the counter. "We don't need to keep him waiting, do we Alice?" She said more than asked, grabbing Alice by her shoulder and forcefully shoving her away from the counter and toward the front door. 

"No, ma'am." Alice spoke softly, looking at the stuffed animals and small toys on the shelves. 

Darryl tried to ignore his turning stomach, scanning the young girls books and not making eye contact with the heavy, aggressive, woman. "You know how kids are, darling. Annoying as all hell." Her smile was sickeningly sweet, but not reaching her eyes. She was obviously putting on some act, something Darryl again couldn't understand. 

"I don't know. . . I like them, they're sweet." Darryl shrugged, tapping his fingers on the counter while waiting for John's brother to bring the books he wanted. The woman only huffed, shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes at Darryl's attempt to keep things civil.

Waiting felt like forever, with the air tense enough to cut with a knife, Darryl was very relieved. "Hey John, look at the game I found! I can't believe they had it here." Blake smiled, clutching the game between his hands like it was a life line. The sight made Darryl smile. 

Looking at the game with a smile, John glanced from Darryl back to his brother then whispered something into Blake's ear. Whatever he whispered made Blake's eyes widen and shoot toward Darryl quickly. "Really?" The boy asked quietly. John nodded, motioning for him to walk to Darryl. 

Blake smiled widely, quickly moving toward the counter and setting the game down in front of him. "You're BadBoyHalo!?" He asked with a smile. Minecraft. The boy had slapped down Minecraft. 

"Yep, that's me." Darryl smiled, scanning the game, and went to ask him what his favorite part of Minecraft was but was interrupted. 

"Um, Blake. I said you could pick out two books, not a game. And who is 'BadBoyHalo'?" The woman asked, crossing his pudgy arms over her chest ignorantly. Blake sighed, nodding and went to take back the game, but Darryl stopped him. 

"I'm BadBoyHalo, it's my YouTube name. And if it's not too much, I wouldn't mind buying the game for him if it's a problem. Call it an early Christmas gift." He winked at Blake. 

She huffed, rolling her eyes, "Of course you're a YouTuber. You know, you should probably get a real job? Stop being a bum and actually contribute to society. And no, you can't buy him the game. We don't take charity from your kind." She hissed, taking the game off the counter and tossing it behind the counter. 

Darryl was baffled, now understanding John's behavior. "With all due respect, ma'am. Being a YouTuber is a real job, I do contribute to society, and what do you mean by my kind?" He asked, his voice deepening with his anger bubbling just under the surface.

"Oh, I know what you are. I could tell by the tone of your voice. You're one of those gay's, aren't you? Explains why you were so close to John, trying to get with him, weren't you? You know he's a minor, right? You know what, I don't think we'll be getting anything from here. I refuse to buy anything from an arrogant, gay, pedophile." She sneered, motioning for the rest of her family to follow after her. 

Darryl watched helplessly as the woman walked away, Alice, Blake, and her husband following after her sadly. Noticing the lack of person, Darryl looked where John had been standing last. 

"I'm sorry. Really, truly, sorry. None of what she said was true, well, unless you are gay. Which is super cool with me, by the way. I'm open myself, not really fond of labels, but gender isn't really important for me. I- Uh, again. I'm super sorry. I'll buy all the books, and his game, please." John rambled, pulling out his wallet and frowning when he noticed he didn't have enough money for both his books and his sisters and brothers items. "J-Just Alice's and Blake's, I don't have enough for all of it." He sighed, running his hands through his hair. 

"It's alright John, these are on me. I'm sorry you have to live with that monster. Excuse my mouth, she was just awful." He groaned, rescanning all of the items and paying for them himself. 

John looked at him with wide eyes, "Thank-you, Darryl. Thank-you so much." He smiled, writing his number down on the receipt and waving on his way out with the bag of books and video game. Darryl smiled back, waving and pocketing the number, his anger still bubbling under his skin.'

With his hands clutching the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white, Darryl breathed harshly out of his nose, trying to will away his anger before he got home to his shared apartment with Zak. 

It was no use by this point, he was pulling into his parking space before long, and his anger was still at an all time high. Frustrated beyond belief, Darryl could only run his hands down his face. "It's fine. I'm fine. It wasn't-" He sighed, getting out of the car aggressively. 

Darryl slammed the door behind himself and began his walk into the building and up two flights of stairs instead of using the elevator, his shot nerves wouldn't be patient enough to wait. Upon making it to the top of the staircase, Darryl's cheeks were pink, and his breathing was rough. Whether from emotion or walking, he wasn't too sure. 

He made sure to take his time walking to his front door, needing as much time as physically possible to breathe. Darryl knew no amount of time would have him prepare for what was about to greet him upon stepping through the busted grey door. 

Unlocking the door, Darryl stepped through and immediately kicked off his shoes. "Zak? I'm home." He spoke into the apartment, relocking the door behind himself. He walked toward the kitchen, wanting a cup of hot cocoa after his hard day. 

"Hey Darry." Zak cheerily spoke, bounding into the kitchen and sitting on the island behind Darryl. 

Darryl rolled his eyes, watching the coffee cup of milk spin in the microwave. "Hi Muffin. Have a good day?" He couldn't help but ask, a frown still in place on his lips, even while taking out the warm mug. 

While listening to Zak ramble about his day, Darryl added the cocoa mix to the steaming milk. "Yes! I did absolutely nothing today, it was super great." Zak drawled, watching Darryl slowly stir his spoon in the cup, the leisurely action made Zak confused. "You alright, Darryl? Bad day?" He couldn't help but ask, kicking his feet. 

Darryl turned around, his mug close to his mouth as he blew on the hot liquid. "You could say that, muffin. Just- I'm alright." He shrugged, looking Zak in the eyes. 

Zak shrugged, looking at his own fiddling fingers then back at Darryl. No. He knew what he was doing. "Don't do it. You better not-" But it was too late, a smile slipped onto Zak's face before Darryl could even finish his threat. 

Groaning and rolling his eyes fondly, Darryl couldn't help the smile that plastered itself onto his face. Zak always seemed to have that effect on him, especially recently. Darryl set the mug down on the counter behind him, moving forward to wrap his arms around Zak's waist, resting his head on the boy's shoulder. "Your sunshine smile makes me love you all the more, despite the way you make my heart fall to the floor and my brain turn to mush, I can only hope for you to never leave me with an open door, forever on my mind even before this moment. Before I got to call you something close to mine." Darryl muttered against Zak's shoulder, smiling at the soft contact of Zak's hand against his back.

"Doubly noted, Poet boy. Let's go watch a movie or something, we can talk about your bad day when you're ready." Zak mumbled against the side of his head. 

Darryl nodded, glad he had his sunshine boy, especially on his cloudiest of days.


	12. "Please, please make me forget..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s)[?] - Warning- Grief, crying (almost panic attack/ptsd induced), Describes trauma/A traumatic experience, WorriedBoyHalo, Depressed Geppy, ends in fluff though :)

It had been a few months since 'The incident', as Zak had so... lovingly named it. It wasn't something he wanted to talk about, wasn't something he wanted to even acknowledge happened. And with his stubbornness, came an uncomfortable energy hanging thickly in the air. It was always tense where ever he walked. Who ever he talked to usually knew about 'The Incident' and had to always ask how he was, sue them for being concerned. Though, they always got the same response. 

"Huh? Yeah, of course I'm alright. No reason I wouldn't be." Zak would smile, an obviously fake laugh spilling from the cracks of his broken heart. Deflecting and avoiding all questions were all he was willing to do.

While most would look at Zak with sympathy and pity, he saw it as being strong. Darryl, on the other hand, saw it as self-destructive. He knew "The Incident" was having a larger impact on Zak's mental and physical health then the broken boy let on. He knew first hand how hard it can be to go through grief and loss, no matter how small. 

Darryl saw it in his lack of appetite, the way the boy would instead push around his food with an empty expression, in the sickly pale coloration of his skin, and the hollows of his cheeks and collar bones. Darryl heard it in the nightmares at night, the way he'd cry out, his tossing and turning in his sheets and the dark circles under his eyes the next morning. The same eyes that once held the sun but are now more like the dark side of the moon. So cold. So empty. So... distant. 

It was another one of those nights, a night where Zak's nightmares were so bad and he hadn't slept in so long, he'd resorted to sleeping in Darryl's room with him. With permission of course. It wasn't like he wanted to be there anyway. Showing weakness and being vulnerable were two things Zak found... difficult, but Darryl made them seem easier. 

There, bundled under a warm weighted blanket and pressed flush facing Darryl's front, Zak laid with tears in his eyes, his head angled up under Darryl's chin. Darryl knew he was trying to hide himself, trying to bury himself within Darryl's warmth and security. The older boy wasn't sure how to approach the situation, much like talking to a scared child ready to run at any moment. With shaking hands and a pounding heart, Darryl brushed his hand through Zak's hair, softly scratching his blunt nails over the boys scalp. 

Zak whined softly, digging his face impossibly deeper into the crook of the older boys neck. Sighing contently against the top of Zak's head, Darryl couldn't help but try and curl more around the boy in his arms. In his mind he was shielding him from... he wasn't sure. Himself, perhaps. 

"'m sorry." Darryl felt the whisper before he heard it, broken glass of a soul puffed against his neck in a desperate attempt to warm himself. Zak tried with all his might to hold in the cold air, the broken pieces of his heart spilling from his eyes along side his tears, both giving him frostbite. They burned. The icy depression they held as they fell with the weight of lead. 

They burned Darryl too. Scaring his skin with the knowledge he could do nothing but be a support beam for Zak to lean on when the pressure of the truth weighed on him too much. "What for?" He whispered back into the fields of flowers crowding Zak's mind. Beautiful and tangled and messy and steadily dying with each passing day, but still providing a cover from the suns harsh rays cast down from somewhere little understood. Much like Zak's heart. 

"For being a burden... and stealing your bed... and being difficult. I promise I don't mean to be... it's just, so so hard. Thank-you for making it easier, Darryl. Probably wouldn't be here without you." He choked out, rubbing his forehead against Darryl's shoulder softly only to bury himself back into the older boys neck for comfort. 

Darryl had to think for a long minute. Zak's words were a messy drawing awaiting for Darryl to highlight and accentuate the best parts, to smooth out the rough details and make prominent the work put into it. Darryl was there to ease his mind, to warm him from his shadowed heart whom even on a warm day shivered. "I've always done it for you, Zak. You're never a burden, never have been, doubt you could be. I just- I want you to get better, mon monde." 

Zak took a shaky inhale, leaning back from Darryl's sweet warmth but still not making eye contact, instead he grabbed his unoccupied hand and played with his distraction's fingers. "I know... I'm sorry. I-" He seemed to swallow a lump in his throat, blinking a few times too fast. "-I want to get better, for you. I just- e-every time I close my eyes... they're there. And I remember. But I don't want to remember. Darryl, I want to forget so bad. I hate this. I hate them. I want to forget. Please, please make me forget." Zak sobbed, pressing himself close to Darryl again who in return squeezed both arms around the distraught boy. 

"Mon monde, I know. I know... You don't really hate them, I know you don't. You might hate how they make you feel, but I know you loved them. Love, them. But forgetting isn't going to solve anything, Zak. Think about the positive things, yeah? Why don't you tell me some good stuff you remember. Can you do that for me?" Zak sniffed, leaning up into Darryl's hand still brushing through his hair as a comforting distraction. 

Tears still made their way down his face as he thought, his own hands playing with Darryl's fingers again as a form of comfort he could control. He whined softly, "Take your time, Zak. I just want you to remember good stuff. I want you to feel comfortable talking to me." Darryl spoke soothingly, softly caressing him with his words. Winding their way around his shivering body and squeezing him tight with radiating heat.

"'m always comfortable around you... I- Well... I remember, early mornings with Ma. She'd be making breakfast in the morning, listening to some Bollywood music, dancing along to Alka Yagnik or someone similar." He smiled softly, sniffling at the fond memory. "She'd- I'd always try and help her, but we'd get distracted and dance together until Baba and sis would wake up too... Baba- He was always so fond around my Ma. His love for he was so transparent, I remember wishing to have a love like theirs..." His voice wavered as he remembered the look in his fathers eyes when he'd watch his mother dance, or cook, or sing. Something so pure, so perfect like that, was only bound to go right. 

Darryl smiled, able to picture the scene Zak laid out for him perfectly. "That's beautiful Zak-" He kissed the top of the boys head. "-Thank-you, for sharing that with me." 

"I- Darryl. I can still see it. The- The car flipped. And they- they... Why didn't the car stop? Why was I the only one that- that-" He wept, desperate to get the image out of his head. The memory of not only the spinning of the earth inside the car, but the sounds of metal bending around them, the squealing tired, the cries from his family. 

And then nothing. 

Black. Blank. Alone. 

He wasn't sure how long he'd been alone in that ditch. The car flipped upside down. 

Then the lights in his eyes, the sounds of sirens, and people screaming and talking surrounding him. 

"Sir? Sir are you alright? Can you hear me?" They were shinning a light in his eyes, a warm hand on his cold cheek, the rocky ground jabbing into his back, the cloth and his hair sticking to his skin, whether from his blood, their blood, or sweat, no one could tell. 

"My- My family..." He'd managed to choke out. Through the waves of panic and pain rippling through his body, he'd still only had two priorities in mind. 

'Were they okay?'

'I want to call Darryl.'

"Sir, I need you to tell me your name." The man was still touching him, pressing his fingers to the side of his neck, to the crook in his elbow, pushing around on his ribs and running his fingers through his hair, feeling his scalp. 

Zak groaned, "Please, My family- Where- I'm-" And then black.

"Zak! Mon Monde, please come back to me. You're okay, you're here, with me. You're- Zak, Zak please. I need you to breathe, alright? In for three, out for five, good." Darryl spoke desperately. 

Upon watching Zak drift into his own mind, Darryl knew immediately he'd fucked up. He quickly pushed Zak onto his back, sitting himself up on his knees to look down at the hyperventilating boy. He'd incased the boys face with his own hands, softly stroking his cheeks as a form of grounding stimulation. 

He wasn't sure how long he pleaded over Zak to focus back on him, apologizing over and over with tears steadily dripping from his eyes and onto Zak's wrinkled shirt. Squeezing his eyes shout tightly, Darryl felt a sob racking through his body, "Please Zak, honey, I'm sorry. So, so sorry. Breathe for me, darling, please. I'm here- I'm-" He choked, pressing his forehead to Zak's. 

Then a warmth wrapped themselves around Darryl's wrists, his hands still pressed softly to Zak's cheeks. "Darryl..." Zak choked back, taking shaky, but more evenly spaced inhales. His hands were now wrapped around Darryl's wrists. 

"Zak, Zak- oh thank goodness. Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I didn't-" He shook his head, unsure what to say, what to do. 

Zak nodded, still feeling not only his own tears dripping down his cheeks, but Darryl's also fell down onto his face. "I- Darryl... Can- Can we go and cuddle on the couch? Watch a movie? Please?" 

Darryl was nodding before he even fully heard what Zak wanted, willing to walk across fire for him, to swim across oceans, fuck, he'd fly into space for the boy under him. "Of course, Mon monde. Anything for you." He said shakily, pulling away slightly to look into Zak's eyes. Those dark brown pools of ink devouring light in their intensity. Looking into them Darryl felt he finally knew what it meant to star-gaze. 

Zak smiled softly, leaning up to brush his nose against Darryl's, kissing his cheek, and rolling out from under him. Darryl could feel the heat in his cheeks as he smiled, moving to follow Zak with his blanket in his arms. 

Meeting him on the couch, Zak had already set up a movie. The title screen for Wall-E playing the beginning music. Darryl sat beside Zak, throwing the blanket over both of them and looked to him quizzically. 

Rubbing the back of his neck, Zak shrugged and sat with his side pressed under Darryl's left arm, his head resting against the older boys collar bone. "It was always my sis's favorite." He smiled sadly, grabbing onto Darryl's hand. 

Squeezing back, Darryl was the one to click play. The opening of the movie moving slowly. The two boys more then content, and for the first time in weeks, Zak didn't feel like he had to hide how he was really feeling. He always knew he had Darryl, whether a call away or a few steps. 

His support beam was now becoming an important part of his building. A main attraction. A prominent feature. His best attribute. 

And he wouldn't trade it for the world. Through ever tear, every cry, every scream, nightmare, and flashback, there Darryl was. With open arms on the other side.


End file.
